don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
