Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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