I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
