Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
