I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
