Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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