We won't sleep together?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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