Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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