Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
