you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
