I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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