can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
MIDGETS
????
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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