and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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