i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
