Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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