dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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