Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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