I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
is that a dick in a sweater?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
