Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
