somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
