Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize