i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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