he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The air was thick with penises
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
