Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
where are you?
Hypothermia
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
