Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
