can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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