I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
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I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
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Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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