Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
