Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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