I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness