I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
