i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth