i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My ATM looks so different sober.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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