My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
