I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
