Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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