Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize