I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize