people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
