Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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