No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
