So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
