my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
