You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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