the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
A bitchslap is in order.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize