She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
