covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
