I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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