just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
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You dont lie about slip and slides
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
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Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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