ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
