are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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