am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize