I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
it glows. i had to have it.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
