can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
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The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
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If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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