I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
