If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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