He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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