Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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