Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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