What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
