There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
