are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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