Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
