I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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